It can exist within us without our realization.  It’s prowling and talking and whimpering and whining – it’s mad and it’s hurt and it’s scared and it’s armed to the teeth – it’s debasing and criticizing, back-biting and gossiping and lying and defending and attacking and most of all denying what it really is –  and it NEVER  truly protects or helps or comforts or loves or guides or satisfies, but it does, in creating a continually dissatisfied and frustrated state, move us forward.  It is……..                                   THE VICTIM!

Victom or Victor?  To be under, to be over, or to be beside?  To be beneath, or to see from above?  Where am I?  Where are you?

On the scale of emotions, guilt and shame are the lowest.  They’re the states that can keep us depressed, apathetic, under the covers, seeking numbness and wishing we just didn’t have to be here.   We rise up from that terribly depressive state to anger. Anger is a step up.  We raise our vibrational output when we let our feelings be known and  express ourselves even if it’s Ugly!

From there we move up the emotional vibrational scale to blame.  ’I'm angry, and I’m directing it   Out There!…. to those responsible for MAKING me as I AM gosh darn it!!’

It IS a step up, and an important one.  It’s two steps up from serious depression and apathy and shame and guilt, and one step up from feeling enraged at what has/is going on.   But it’s still quite a distance from the feelings of contentment, joy, peace and equanimity that are the highest and most pleasurable states.

I was surprised when I realized a few years ago how much ‘victimization’ language was going on in my mind.   ‘Life is too hard.’ ‘I feel so stuck.’  ’If they hadn’t/this wasn’t/etc……’

Recognizing the language we use as we talk to ourselves and others is illuminating.  Although it is very important to allow ourselves and others to progress through the emotional stages in order to reach happiness, it’s also important for our personal health and happiness  to not live our lives perpetually at the lower levels of the emotional scale;  shame/guilt/depression, anger, blame.

STEP ONE:  Recognize and admit where we are at.

Am I complaining, blaming or placing my attention on ANYTHING outside of myself and using those things as an excuse to get mad or hurt and to stay in a place where I’m unhappy?  That is playing the victim.    Using  anything or anyone as an excuse for not realizing my dreams and my highest state of love, peace and joy is self inflicted victimization.

Many might shout ‘Not ME! Are you serious?  I’m not a victim!  Look at me!  ROAR! I’ll rip you up!  I’ll tell the neighbors/government/banks/parents/’friends’/kids/boss/etc.etc what THEY should do! and if they don’t, well, I’m just *#@^&!  and there’s nothing I can do about it because they/he/she/it is and are running the world, and I am living in THAT world”         Whoa!  There’s the anger and blame, and there’s that victim!  Who runs your world?  ONLY YOU!

The idea that a victim is a weak, sappy, put upon doormat is not as often the case as is the victim which is in an endless state of attack and defense.    It is our idea of what strength truly is and what the feeling of personal empowerment truly feels like that must be adjusted.

True personal power is the stamina to remain calm, in control, rational and at peace regardless of what is going on around or ‘to’ us.    Strength is an unwavering stature of righteousness that is compassionate and humble, true to principles of goodness and kindness and still open to listening to others points of view.  It is free from blame, free from complaints of any kind, free from self abasement and criticism and free being tossed around by every occurrence that is experienced.   True power is a very peaceful thing.  It is HAPPINESS!  It needs no defense, because it cannot be stolen.  There are no ‘enemies’ or ‘antagonists’ because there is a knowledge of full self responsibility for every thought, reaction, emotion and experience.  It feels really go-oo-od!

Victim or Victor?   When we realize it is ONLY ourselves we must conquer (and we do this conquering with pure and unconditional love)  we realize that a ‘Victor’ need not imply a ‘Victim’.   In the state of perfect self acceptance and love,  a winner needs not a loser a winner empowers more winners.  We’re finally free to let go of the need to place the blame anywhere but upon our own previous misunderstanding of who we truly are – an Amazing, Wonder-full, Loved, Perfect, Well Planned, Deliberate, and Divine expression in human form.  Our lives have been EXACTLY as they should have been.  We are denied nothing for any reason that is outside of ourselves.

We forgive, we let go, we come to terms, we extend a hand.  We breath and share the air and we reach out to touch and feel the sense of comfort and togetherness that is so good.   We yearn and we move forward in this space and time dimension we’ve chosen to partake in, and we are PERFECT.

So, if you have complained – yes you – in any way or shape or form – make the choice to move your address from ‘Victim Lives Here’ to ‘Peace Lives Here’.    It’s happiness we’d all like, right?  Well, this is a move in that direction.  Take the step with me! Congratulations to us!  We are  ’Victim Graduates’ moving ever closer to sustained peace, kindness, really deep and true self-love and the supreme realization of EVERLASTING JOY!

Joan Marie